One of my last posts detailed our decision to use donated embryos: Two Good Deeds
My husband and I are celebrating the third anniversary of when we first started chatting online via a dating website. As we reflect upon the past three years, we cannot believe how enriched and blessed we are for having found each other.
The inability to give birth to a healthy baby is a very private and heartbreaking experience. There is a secret society of women who have endured IVF treatments, miscarriages or stillborns. We don’t talk about it in public and we withhold our pain.
Whiling away endless hours in doctors’ waiting rooms, I flippantly read women’s gossip magazines. I feel anguish whenever I see a cover headline about Jennifer Aniston, such as these:
Pregnant At 40! – OK, October 2009
Confirmed: Finally A Baby For Jen – OK, April 2010
Baby Joy At Age 42. I’m Pregnant With Twins! – Star, Dec 2011
Jen: Pregnant Bride! – Star, April 2012
Jen’s IVF Miracle At 45 – Woman’s Day, July 2013
Jen: Pregnant And Alone! – OK, July 2013
My husband and I have decided to participate in a Donor Embryo Program offered by the IVF clinic with which we are registered.
For a brief history of our infertility, click here.
In arriving at this decision, we recognise that the children, which result from this program, will not be genetically related to either of us. This is quite a confronting prospect. Nonetheless, it offers us hope of becoming parents.
To my caring mother-in-law, Happy Mother’s Day.
Thank you for raising a wonderful son.
I have often wondered where the apostrophe should go when writing Mother’s Day. Is it a day that belongs to one mother or all mothers? Or is it a day for mothers and, therefore, requires no apostrophe?
In our quest to become parents, my husband and I have been exploring a number of options. We are both educated and employed, live in a lovely home and engage in reasonably healthy lifestyles. We thought we would be ideal candidates to become foster parents, so we decided to attend a Foster Care Information Evening.
At this particular meeting, there was a foster mother who told her story to the gathering of potential foster parents. Her background was similar to ours: a married couple, unable to have children of their own, middle class and around the late thirties. They are now permanent foster parents to two children, but she said it has been a struggle.
My husband and I are childless, and not by choice. Unfortunately, and fortunately, we met later in life. We were living in different cities and found each other through a dating website. I took a chance and came to meet the man I had been chatting with online. When we met in person, we knew that we were meant to be together. Why, oh why, hadn’t we met in our twenties or thirties? Here we are in our forties, in a wonderful, loving relationship and we would dearly love to have a child. But this is proving to be rather difficult. We are still going through the IVF process, but with every unsuccessful IVF attempt, we just hold each other tightly and cry. At some point, we may have to stop and grieve for the loss of not being able to have a child. We are thankful that we have each other and we cherish our love.